To all the moms via egg donation who blog…
I read a lot of blogs by women who blog and who have used egg donation to create their families. A lot of these women have gone on to successfully have their children.
And they write about that experience.
Which is fine.
No really – it’s fine.
But just keep in mind that we live in a world of social media and digital media. Once it’s out on the internet it’s there to stay.
Longer than a credit report.
So when I see things like:
” I’m not sure if I love you”
” Would I love you more if you were truly genetically mine?”
” When I found out you were a girl I was really disappointed. I don’t like girls. I don’t even like pink. Frilly things piss me off.”
” Oh God I’m having a boy. I hate boys. I really wanted a girl”
“All through my pregnancy I just knew we weren’t going to like each other.”
” You are two days old and I know you hate me. You won’t even look at me, only your dad.”
” Now that you are here the enormity of being responsible for you is overwhelming did I make a mistake?”
My heart just hurts. I understand the importance of being real with your feelings. It’s healthy to write them down and face them head on.
However, one day your child may read any of the above and connect the dots and recognize themselves and know you wrote them.
Then how are you going to feel knowing you really hurt your child?
My advice – keep writing. It’s good for you. But lock it up. Password it. Write it on paper old school style.
Don’t make those intimate thoughts public. Keep them private. After all, you aren’t making your therapy sessions public are you?