The In’s and Out’s of Motherhood

From time to time I sometimes do feel insecure about my role as my son’s Mom. It’s been eight and a half years and one would think I’d have my role firmly cemented into my head — but sometimes I worry. And perhaps that worry is what other mom’s go through on a daily basis.

The challenges of parenting are continuous and never ending. About the time I find myself worrying about stuff I don’t need to be worrying about I find this:

I don’t know where I read this or saw this but I loved it:

I think the best way to discipline is for your kid to think that you’re just a little bit crazy,” she says. “You’ve got to make them think that this might be the moment that Mom finally loses it.”

I so agree — They must know that Mom is driving the bus, and she might just drive it over a cliff if they don’t shape up. It’s all about getting and keeping that poker face, early and often.

My son is getting to an age where mom isn’t cool any longer. And that’s all good. I totally get that. I knew this day would come. We were at our local grocery store and he was whining being persistent about something he wanted that I found myself saying “no” to. I was nice in saying no — but he continued. I noticed that the usual “Muzak” wasn’t playing in our grocery store but actual artists singing their own stuff. I was thrilled. I am so not a Muzak fan. Anyhow — Madonna was playing “Express Yourself”. I am not ashamed to say I am a Madonna fan from way back and the devil in me decided to have a little fun.

Now my son is continuing to whine — hard core now. He really wants whatever it is he’s asking for, and now I am saying no on principle because he’s being a turd. I hear Madonna’s “Express Yourself: begin and I begin to sing rather loudly —

You don’t need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no
What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you cant come down

During all of this I grab my son and begin dancing in the produce section. The poor kid just froze, and wanted to slink under the nearest produce bin. It was stellar genius! The begging for ice cream stopped — it was like magic.