egg donation

Looking ahead…

By on June 12, 2018

I know for many of you – you are just starting out. The idea of even thinking about holding a baby seems far off and for some almost impossible.

This might seem Pollyanna-ish – but you’ll get there. This time next year the majority of you starting out are going to be exhausted, with sore boobs, and suffering from sleep deprivation.

I know that right now everything seems hard, overwhelming, and moving in slow motion because you’ve been trying a long time to have a baby. Been in a holding pattern and waiting for a very long time makes the best of us feel frustrated and crazy.

What I want to tell you is that in the grand scheme of things this is truly just going to be a blip on the radar.

Once your baby is born your life is not going be your own. It’s going to be filled with feedings every 2 to 3 hours the first year, endless diaper changes, diaper rash, and if you nurse – cracked nipples, sleep deprivation, visits to the pediatrician, and did I say sleep deprivation? I said that right? The first year is just a blur.

Then things even out

– something shifts into overdrive- then the years begin to speed by. Your baby(s) begins to walk and talk- and this little person develops his or her own personality. The relationship that you develop, create and nurturer with your son or daughter is unique to you – some days your kid is going to frustrate the crap out of you and other days you’re going to laugh – oh you’re going to laugh and be so delighted – but regardless you’re going to love this kid(s) just to the ends of the earth and back – and I promise you this is going to be one of the best things you’ve ever done- you’re going to love your child so much that you sometimes forget to breathe.❤️❤️❤️

One day you’re going to turn around and think yourself “Hey what happened to my baby and where did my baby go? wasn’t it yesterday I just brought him or her home from the hospital?”

Then the school years begin – you thought life was busy before? Hang on sister, strap in because things are going to fast forward so quickly it’s going to be mind blowing.

Preschool quickly morphs into elementary school- ballet lessons, soccer, school performances, teacher conferences, school parties, field trips, PTA, and Tball accompanied by birthday parties, play dates, and the beginning of the endless stream of homework. In a flash we turn around and we watch our cute little kids become those gangly, funny smelling hysterically awkward middle school tweens. This is often accompanied by yet more homework, more activities than you can shake a stick at and wishing that you had the ability to clone yourself to be at three places at the same time all the while attempting to understand that your kid is growing up so quickly right before your eyes. This is all somehow balanced with we parents worried that they’re not getting enough sleep because after all they are still kids and giving them the space they need to thrive.

I mean god forbid that as a parent who has worked so incredibly hard to bring this amazing creature into the world that we be accused of being that helicopter parent. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Our boys now often refuse to shower when they should shower at least two times a day, their voice begins to crack, zits begin to appear, the tell tale signs of a mustache begins to grow above their upper lip and we could grease every single door hinge in the house with their hair. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Our girls tumble headfirst into PMS, girl drama, teenage angst, and it’s often tough on moms and dads to catch up with the way their bodies and minds are changing as we help them navigate through their first period, training bras and our desire to want them to remain as little girls all the while keeping on hand an

endless supply of chocolate, tea and sympathy.

We become proficient at understanding what each eye roll, sigh, grunt, mumble, and slam of a door means.

Ain’t puberty grand?

But before you know it high school has reared its ugly head. The words college, FAFSA, SAT, dating, driving, prom, gradation, and moving out find their way into our vocabulary and assault the very essence of who we are as parents.

As we now interact every day with our kids we have to stop and wonder where in the hell did the past 15 -16 years ago? Our once snuggly little Klingons that at one time didn’t want to leave our sides have now catapulted in becoming independent and beginning to do something very natural called separation. They don’t want to be around us anymore- they would rather be (gasp) with their friends ! How dare they – right ?

We thought we were busy and elementary school and middle school but now our schedule and their schedule is crazy. Between driving them god knows where our cars have become our office, our confessional, and the place we often spend a lot of our time in as we chauffeur, ferry, and wait for our kids.

If we are not attending a sports event, a school event, a recital, their job, or dropping them off to see a friend – we are trying to balance some sort of semblance or illusion of home/family life or we can all be together for longer than five minutes!

Am I right?

Oh god I digress.

And then in the blink of an eye we are attending our child’s graduation from high school. We hear their name called as they walk across the stage, shaking the hand that is handing them their diploma and realizing that this is the last summer they’ll be home before they pack up their stuff and head to college.

As I thumb through my sons baby book, his scrap book, and a box of old photos I find an old receipt from April of 2000 for a vial of progesterone, a prescription of estrace, and cotton balls. The tears come quickly and fall freely as I remember how this all began.

All I can tell you was just breathe. Just breathe.Just breathe.




Portland, OR

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