It’s our job to educate ourselves about our fertility
It makes me crazy when the media sensationalizes public figures and/or celebrities in the media who are older ( 40+) and having babies. First of all it’s irritating when journalists attempt to out a public figure in regards to how they conceived. It’s not of our business if a public figure or celebrity used Ivf or donor egg to have a baby.
Just to be clear – it’s none of our business.
Trust me I understand firsthand how private, painful, and overwhelming infertility can be – Really I do. And I also understand how influential public figures and celebrities can be. They perform public-service announcements on a myriad of topics and subjects each and every day. It all depends on their platform. But there’s nothing in the rules that states just because you’re a public figure or a celebrity that you’re required nor should you be expected to discuss your health issues or your reproductive health.
I know, I know – “But they chose this way of life and occupation. They know that being famous puts them in the spotlight and so they should expect questions about their personal life, their children, how they had their children, their divorces, the relationships, their health etc..”
It’s not a public figure or a celebrities job to educate you or me about infertility. It’s our job – yours and mine.
That means you and I need to have a serious conversation at sometime during our reproductive life with our OB/GYN or reproductive endocrinologist about our fertility.
The message that the media is pumping into the stratosphere that women don’t have to pay attention to their fertility because celebrities are having babies with their own eggs with the help of a few shots and a special diet well into their late 40s and early 50s is poppycock.
It’s not the way it works – the reality is you do have to pay attention.
You really do. And let me tell you why.
If you are female your fertility will begin to decline slightly at age 28. At age 32 your Fertility will take its first serious decline. Between age 35 and 38 it’s reduced once again. By age 40 your success rate of having a child using your own eggs has reduced to 10-20%. Between 40-43 your fertility rate declines to 5-10% and by 44 it will plummet even further to about 1% — to add insult to injury those who do get pregnant, the miscarriage rate is about 24 percent for 40-year-olds, 38 percent for 43-year-olds, and 54 percent for 44-year-olds.
Reality stinks doesn’t it. I only wish there was a magic pill or shot or some sort of diet that would turn back time and make our old eggs young. But there’s not – it’s time those of us over 40 face the facts that when we are attempting to work with our own 40+ year old eggs most of the time conception is not going to work. Why? Because our eggs are old! They are often over 40 years old. Would you drive a 40-year-old car and expect to take you back-and-forth safely?. Of course not – what would you do – you would get a new car. It’s the same thing with our eggs – if we want to have children in our mid 40s more often than not we need to use much younger eggs.
What that means is if you’re reading this and you’re in your late 20s or even in your 30s have that conversation with your doctor and ask about your fertility. Ask about egg freezing ( a procedure where the patient undergoes an IVF cycle – her eggs are retrieved and then cryopreserved and stored for later time). Be proactive and plan ahead.
Don’t be that woman who in her late 30s and early 40s that says “I had no idea – I just thought because celebrities were having babies up until their 50s I could too. No one told me, I thought The Huffington Post was telling the truth”
And if you do find yourself in your 40s and are given the news that having a child with your own eggs is not going to be an option for you- don’t think your world is over because it’s not. You have options – one of them is having a child through egg donation. Thousands of women each year go through this process and have the most amazing, delightful and lovely children ever!
So my message to the media – the only thing you need to be saying to any public figure or celebrity that becomes pregnant is congratulations and we wish you a happy, healthy, and trouble-free pregnancy.
This is a special time for them and their families – why don’t we just leave them alone?