Let’s talk about privacy: Does your egg donor have a right to privacy?
Here is a very typical and common scenario that causes me to grit my teeth every time I hear about it:
The IP (usually an intended mother) contracts with an egg donor agency and selects an egg donor. Program fees have been paid, psych evaluations have been conducted, medical testing is in the works, and the ball is clearly rolling, especially if this is a repeat donor. The egg donor while maybe not wanting to meet a set of intended parents is comfortable with an email or even a telephone call. The profile might say where this egg donor is currently attending school, or where she lives, or where she’s worked. It might even give her first name and last initial.
That information right there is enough for most Internet savvy people to begin an Internet search on their donor.
What happens next is the intended parent (we will go with the intended mother) will begin her search. She will begin perhaps with the college last attended. If she discovers a first and last name she might Google the egg donor. Finally she hits gold and sees the Facebook page, or maybe even a Twitter account. And the stalking begins.
Did I just say stalking?
Yes, I just said stalking, because I think that’s what it is.
The intended mother while perusing the egg donors Facebook account may or may not have access to see the egg donor’s wall, or photos. Many times the egg donor doesn’t have her privacy settings implemented upon her Facebook and her photos and wall comments are open for the public to see. So the intended mother now see’s these photos, and reads these wall comments and doesn’t like what she sees. She may discover that this egg donor has a Twitter account, or has some other web presence and learn more things about her egg donor that she doesn’t like.
The idea of the fantasy egg donor in her head has gone right out the window. The intended mother then calls and tells the agency “I don’t want this egg donor any longer, she’s undesirable…”
So this begs the question –“Does your egg donor have a right to privacy?”
Do you as an intended parent have the right (regardless of the compensation you are paying for your egg donor) do Google search on your egg donor? Stalk her Facebook pages, Twitter account, or any other social networking site on the Internet for her?
Without her permission? Especially if the egg donor has stated she doesn’t want a completely open egg donor cycle?
Or is everything fair in donor selection because after all there is no privacy on the Internet?
How would you feel as an intended parent if your donor somehow found out your name and Googled you? Searched you out on social network sites and right before you began your egg donor cycle said to the agency “You know what? I learned this about my intended parents and they are undesirable. I don’t want them to have my genetics. So I am going to cancel the cycle.”
I know what my thoughts are – however, I am asking you what are yours?